Nobody’s Home.

My neighbors whispering amongst each other…

“First. She tried poisoning us with the Glade PlugIns. But, luckily she is a kind beast and removed them all. However, guy-across-the-hall could not convince her to attempt washing her cat. He even offered to give her lessons in cat bathing…

But now, if she’s not sobbing, she’s moving her damn furniture around. (Seriously, though, it’s not a big apartment, how much room could there possibly be for heaving manmade objects, AKA: couches, dressers and a bed? LOTS, is the answer we’ve gathered from hearing her accidentally knocking stuff off the wall and breaking it as she curses madly at the furniture gods.)

The worst, though. Is that she finally figured out how to use her Amazon echo, Alexa. And it has been a hell filled with the voices of Kelly Clarkson, Blink 182 and v. loudly blasted Avril Lavigne Pandora stations. (I know, right?! Who knew there are people who still use Pandora?) Odd. She is v. odd.”

The good news– nobody talks to me!

P.S. The BEST news, however, is that a part of my front door fell off… (baking accident.) I think it’s called, like, the door strip? IDK, but now that its gone, the gap under my door is even bigger: SO ALL THE MORE AVRIL I can share, and I’ve got the Avril to share. You’re welcome, neighbs.

P.P.S. If anyone complains about Avril, I’m not afraid to bring back the PlugIns in full ‘Mystic Tropical Island Staycation’ scented force. Try mehhh.

Happy Birthday To My Bad Mama Jama.

Today marks exactly one year since my mama‘s stage-4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis.

It also would have been her birthday.

Today is bitter-sweet at its very core.

It also calls for joy.

A photo posted by stephrosedoan (@stephrosedoan) on Feb 12, 2015 at 2:47pm PST

Happy Birthday, Mama Goose! I’m so v. thankful we were able to talk you into the silliness of celebrating your “Halfy Birthday!” Not only was it the day you turned a 1/2 year older but it also marked 6-months of fighting cancer like a bad Mama Jama. I am so proud of you! Thank you for being my world, my moon, my guiding star and my entire galaxy for 24 years.

I (Almost) Auditioned To Be On The Voice Today

This morning I almost competed on the preliminary tryouts of The Voice. This sounds like very exciting news but it’s actually not. In fact, my almost audition caused me to almost miss my Megabus ride.

Believe it or not, I was not trying to become America’s next big singing talent at 5:45am this morning… I was just standing in the wrong line for a very long time.

I’d like to blame the early hour for my prolonged confusion… because, I stayed in line for The Voice tryouts for over 20 minutes. It was long enough for me along with my fellow contestants to be led by an official-looking cowherd around the corner, then separated into a groups of four, and almost to the convention center’s doors.

Yes, it all seemed a bit odd to me. But I haven’t ridden a Megabus except once junior year of college and I’m very unfamiliar with its ways. All I thought was: I hope we all fit on the bus!

It seemed like A LOT of people to all fit onto one bus headed to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. That was one of the reason I first started to feel nervous early on while waiting in line. It also seemed a bit much how everyone’s family and friends was waiting in line with them to a certain point and then hugging and kissing them goodbye… waving furiously as they left. I was like, come on, people this isn’t the Titanic… I mean I know buses can be a bit rough but this is a little much. (Alright, maybe I was just a little jealous!) However, what I wasn’t feeling was any nervousness that I had mistakenly stepped in line to audition for a national singing competition on a live TV show. I have LOTS of natural anxiety and would definitely coin myself as a worrier, but this isn’t one the fears that commonly crosses my mind.

But now, I will definitely be adding it to my list of SHIT THAT COULD TOTALLY HAPPEN.

I did, instead, grow super stressed because no one else in line had luggage with them. I was the ONLY PERSON with a rolling suitcase… Everyone else had a purse or a small backpack, and one lady had a fanny-pack a purse but that was the most I saw anyone else carrying. Except for the handful of people, mostly all guys, who carried GIANT acoustic guitar cases. So naturally, my first thoughts after processing this:

Omg, they must only allow one carryon item no bigger than a small personal belonging such as a purse, backpack or fanny-pack per person, or guitar cases are allowed as the exception.

I began thinking up some casual, yet dramatic, excuses as to why I needed to bring my rolling suitcase along (i.e., special assistance needs, or I’m on my way to a friend’s or better yet my cousin’s sister’s my wedding and my gown is stuffed inside my suitcase… No, no, don’t worry about finding hanging space. I’ll have my bridesmaids steam it once I arrive at the ceremony’s location in Pittsburgh via a Megabus. Bride on a budget, #amIright?) Also, I was mad-dogging it & gearing up to fight the Man, aka the Megasbus crew. If an acoustic guitar case is allowed it’s only fair if my same-sized suitcase is allowed onboard. I even brainstormed maneuvers to stuff my designer Rebecca Minkoff handbag into it to condense.

It was finally when the security guys started yelling at our group, I knew I had real worries. ”

Okay, if you’re in this line it’s because your reservation ticket says 7am, ONLY! No one else should be in this line!” I panicked. I turned to the mom and her son in line behind me.

I said: Wait, did he say 7am? My ticket’s for departure at 6:10am!

And, The Mom said: Huh?! No sweetie, he said they’re gonna open the doors for us at 8am.

Me: Wait, really? Then why does my Megabus ticket say 6:10am. What does yours say?

The Mom: Oh. This ISN’T the Megabus line! This is the line for The Voice.

Me: Wait, what?! Really. Omg. I’m looking for the bus!

The Mom: You need to be across the street then… and you better RUN!

It was now 6:10.

I took off– whoosh– hustling and rolling past the crowd behind us. A younger girl stopped me while I was running back up the hill (cursing & praying the bus hadn’t left yet! PLEASE, by the grace of God!) She nicely asked if they were letting people in who hadn’t reserved an audition spot, (which ironically I was almost one of those people!) I yelled to her as I ran:

I’M NOT ONE OF YOU.

So, basically: if my running out of the line with my wheeling suitcase to stop the Megabus, which hadn’t even started boarding yet, didn’t draw some eyes, then my yelling at the poor girl like she was an X-Men definitely got me noticed. And yet, I am still waiting for the producers of The Voice to call me up and make me a big star… I’m sure I left the audience of my fellow contestants thinking, who’s that girl.

And, if any of you future Britneys, Christinas or JT’s auditioning at The Voice in NYC today, really, totally, embarrassingly blow it… just remember, it could’ve been worse.

You could’ve been that girl who thought she was waiting in line for the Megabus.

P.S. Here’s a baller chocolate chip cookie recipe.

RT Worthy Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

This recipe is from memory… so Teddy Graham (bear) w/ me:

1/2 Cup Butter

1/2 Cup Crisco *I swear using half butter and half crisco makes for the most fattening, chewy delicious cookies ever to grace your cookie monster lips

1 Cup Brown sugar

1/2 Cup White sugar

2 Egg Yolks

1 Tbsp. Vanilla

1 (ish) Tbsp. Maple Syrup

3 cups flour

1 1/2 Tsp. Baking Powder

1 Tsp. Baking Soda

1/2 Tsp. Kosher Salt

1/2 Tsp. Ground Cinnamon

1 cup chocolate chips (any kind your little heart desires!)

1 cup chopped chocolate bars OR another cup of chocolate chips… (I like to chop up nice big chunks of both white and dark chocolate bars to keep things interesting)

Directions: Cream the butter and Crisco (ohhhh baybee!) and add both sugars… cream together on high (get it!), add the eggs yolks, mix, add the vanilla and maple syrup; meanwhile, in a neighboring & separate bowl mix together the dry ingredients (no, this does not mean all ingredients not containing alcohol… speaking of, you can for reals add a little tsp. or so of Brandy to the batch for extra flavor. Martha does it all the time, I swear!), slowly add the dry to the wet in three additions & mix that shit well after adding each, then finally, add the goods (chocolate chips & chunks) mixing either by hand or on a low speed.

Bake ’em nice and big at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes, or until set. For good lookin’ cookies chill the dough prior to baking (for overnight or at least 2 hours) or place the cookies on the baking sheets and then into the freezer for 15 (ish) minutes before baking.

Here’s some other choco-chip-inspo recipes to try! Plus follow ThisBabeBakes via Pinterest for tons more recipes… get yo’ yummy on!