Nobody’s Home.

My neighbors whispering amongst each other…

“First. She tried poisoning us with the Glade PlugIns. But, luckily she is a kind beast and removed them all. However, guy-across-the-hall could not convince her to attemptย washing her cat. He even offered to give her lessons in cat bathing…

But now, if she’s not sobbing, she’s moving her damn furniture around. (Seriously, though, it’s not a big apartment, how much roomย could there possibly be for heaving manmade objects, AKA:ย couches, dressers and a bed? LOTS,ย is the answer we’ve gathered from hearing her accidentally knocking stuff off the wall and breaking it as she curses madly at the furniture gods.)

The worst, though. Is that she finally figured out how to use her Amazon echo, Alexa. And it has been a hell filled with the voices of Kelly Clarkson, Blink 182 and v. loudly blasted Avril Lavigne Pandora stations. (I know, right?! Who knew there are people who still use Pandora?) Odd. She is v. odd.”

The good news– nobody talks to me!

P.S. The BEST news, however, is that a part of my front door fell off… (baking accident.) I think it’s called, like, the door strip? IDK, but now that its gone, the gap under myย door is even bigger: SO ALL THE MORE AVRILย I can share, and I’ve got the Avril to share. You’re welcome, neighbs.

P.P.S. If anyone complains about Avril, I’m not afraid to bring back the PlugIns in full ‘Mysticย Tropicalย Island Staycation’ scented force. Try mehhh.

Published by

Steph Doan

#motherlessdaughter

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