I (Almost) Auditioned To Be On The Voice Today

This morning I almost competed on the preliminary tryouts of The Voice. This sounds like very exciting news but it’s actually not. In fact, my almost audition caused me to almost miss my Megabus ride.

Believe it or not, I was not trying to become America’s next big singing talent at 5:45am this morning… I was just standing in the wrong line for a very long time.

I’d like to blame the early hour for my prolonged confusion… because, I stayed in line for The Voice tryouts for over 20 minutes. It was long enough for me along with my fellow contestants to be led by an official-looking cowherd around the corner, then separated into a groups of four, and almost to the convention center’s doors.

Yes, it all seemed a bit odd to me. But I haven’t ridden a Megabus except once junior year of college and I’m very unfamiliar with its ways. All I thought was: I hope we all fit on the bus!

It seemed like A LOT of people to all fit onto one bus headed to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. That was one of the reason I first started to feel nervous early on while waiting in line. It also seemed a bit much how everyone’s family and friends was waiting in line with them to a certain point and then hugging and kissing them goodbye… waving furiously as they left. I was like, come on, people this isn’t the Titanic… I mean I know buses can be a bit rough but this is a little much. (Alright, maybe I was just a little jealous!) However, what I wasn’t feeling was any nervousness that I had mistakenly stepped in line to audition for a national singing competition on a live TV show. I have LOTS of natural anxiety and would definitely coin myself as a worrier, but this isn’t one the fears that commonly crosses my mind.

But now, I will definitely be adding it to my list of SHIT THAT COULD TOTALLY HAPPEN.

I did, instead, grow super stressed because no one else in line had luggage with them. I was the ONLY PERSON with a rolling suitcase… Everyone else had a purse or a small backpack, and one lady had a fanny-pack a purse but that was the most I saw anyone else carrying. Except for the handful of people, mostly all guys, who carried GIANT acoustic guitar cases. So naturally, my first thoughts after processing this:

Omg, they must only allow one carryon item no bigger than a small personal belonging such as a purse, backpack or fanny-pack per person, or guitar cases are allowed as the exception.

I began thinking up some casual, yet dramatic, excuses as to why I needed to bring my rolling suitcase along (i.e., special assistance needs, or I’m on my way to a friend’s or better yet my cousin’s sister’s my wedding and my gown is stuffed inside my suitcase… No, no, don’t worry about finding hanging space. I’ll have my bridesmaids steam it once I arrive at the ceremony’s location in Pittsburgh via a Megabus. Bride on a budget, #amIright?) Also, I was mad-dogging it & gearing up to fight the Man, aka the Megasbus crew. If an acoustic guitar case is allowed it’s only fair if my same-sized suitcase is allowed onboard. I even brainstormed maneuvers to stuff my designer Rebecca Minkoff handbag into it to condense.

It was finally when the security guys started yelling at our group, I knew I had real worries. ”

Okay, if you’re in this line it’s because your reservation ticket says 7am, ONLY! No one else should be in this line!” I panicked. I turned to the mom and her son in line behind me.

I said: Wait, did he say 7am? My ticket’s for departure at 6:10am!

And, The Mom said: Huh?! No sweetie, he said they’re gonna open the doors for us at 8am.

Me: Wait, really? Then why does my Megabus ticket say 6:10am. What does yours say?

The Mom: Oh. This ISN’T the Megabus line! This is the line for The Voice.

Me: Wait, what?! Really. Omg. I’m looking for the bus!

The Mom: You need to be across the street then… and you better RUN!

It was now 6:10.

I took off– whoosh– hustling and rolling past the crowd behind us. A younger girl stopped me while I was running back up the hill (cursing & praying the bus hadn’t left yet! PLEASE, by the grace of God!) She nicely asked if they were letting people in who hadn’t reserved an audition spot, (which ironically I was almost one of those people!) I yelled to her as I ran:

I’M NOT ONE OF YOU.

So, basically: if my running out of the line with my wheeling suitcase to stop the Megabus, which hadn’t even started boarding yet, didn’t draw some eyes, then my yelling at the poor girl like she was an X-Men definitely got me noticed. And yet, I am still waiting for the producers of The Voice to call me up and make me a big star… I’m sure I left the audience of my fellow contestants thinking, who’s that girl.

And, if any of you future Britneys, Christinas or JT’s auditioning at The Voice in NYC today, really, totally, embarrassingly blow it… just remember, it could’ve been worse.

You could’ve been that girl who thought she was waiting in line for the Megabus.

P.S. Here’s a baller chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Published by

Steph Doan

#motherlessdaughter

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